The newspaper has been the source of information since man knew how to write giving his full time hobby, which was scratching his balls, a boot. Then came Steve Jobs (R.I.P) with the iPad. I have no clue why he called it a pad but we may never know, after all, he has passed on. This really made me do my research.
The iPad will never replace the newspaper because:
1. With the economic crunch, you can't wipe your behind with an iPad after the tissue paper has decided to play 'GOTCHA!' with you, there remains the newspaper, the undisputed ass-wiper!
2. Just like any other broke-ass jobless person, when hunger pangs strike and you go to the butcher to buy tht kaquater nyama, an iPad can never be used to wrap that nyama.
3. Being a member of #TeamSonford, like many of you losers are, after that night out wherever, chips funga kujas in handy...what fungaz the chipos? You guessed it right, the newspaper.
4. I live downtown, the lower class level, but we prefer being said to be from the middle class, lower division. Now, if you are from that class, don't be ashamed, newspaper covers beautify the rust-covered mabati walls, nt iPads...
...to be continued! I overheard my neiba borrowing Mama Nyaguthie a piece of paper, i guess its that time of the month where having some tissue paper is like having a dollar! I have to go read the newspaper, jobs don't get advertised on iPads...
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