Titties and Beer

I’m a huge fan of wasting time and acting like a total jerk, so I figured that title was fitting since this entire post will document parts of my life.

I recently had a horrible incident with my laptop (not to be confused with a horrible indecency with my laptop, much to my spell checks chagrin) wherein the entire thing was destroyed. I was sitting there minding my own business when a friend of mine felt the need to pour a full glass of Kibao Vodka on it, accidentally of course. That’s probably a simplification of what happened but if you’ve ever lost a year of pictures and data you’ll understand.

Luckily baby mama is feeling pretty good lately and sent me her old netbook so I can use my teeny tiny fingers to type on the teeny tiny keyboard and do things like check my Facebook, Twitter, Muicbook and rant about stuff. Her exact words were:

“It’s good for checking e-mail and surfing the web, and for boys who feel the need to hydrate their computers.”

I figure that’s probably the least she could do based on the fact that my balls had produced the child. Had he sent me a scalpel, some hydrogen peroxide and a camera with a note that said “take care of that eyebrow piercing monstrosity and send me the pics” I would have been just as grateful, but this is more useful to me.

One thing I’ve noticed about this computer is that the backspace button is fixed if you don’t hit it twice. This might actually be better for me since I tend to type things like “I fucked your sister in the asshole with an mwiko.” When what I really meant to say was “I fucked your sister.” So the out of control backspacer takes care of all the useless words I didn’t really need. Turns out he may be more in tune with my needs than I ever imagined.